Caledonia
by Auua Ytjoml
Summary: No one asks the old shepherd if he saw Alice Kingsley the night before she disappeared and he doesn't say.


Alice sits in the empty room, cradling her father's violin. She weeps, heavy tears crashing down onto the stained rosin. Her mother is gone now, as is her father, and for hours she sheds the heavy burdens her fathers legacy and her mother's hope for a son in law had become. Finally she falls asleep clutching the instrument to her.

When she awakens stiff and sore eyed she is still alone. Margaret is embroiled in a fight to keep her children after divorcing Lowell and Lord Ascot is over seas. She catches sight of green eyes in the corner of her vision and whirling cries out "Hatter, you've-, oh its only you Dinah." She picks up the feline and hugs her close, scratching the purring feline behind her ears. "Oh Dinah I miss them so much. Do you suppose it will ever stop hurting? my heart I mean."

Dinah meows to be let down and Alice sets her outside. She drifts back to the single chair in the middle of the room, empty save a bookshelf and a writing desk.

She picks up the violin and strokes the strings with the bow. High and sweet the music pours out and hovers potently in the air. Trembling she adds her voice to the music.

"I don't know if you can see,  
>the changes that have come over me,<br>these last few days I've been afraid that I might drift away."

Her voice catches and she stops for a moment to steady it.

"I've been telling old stories, singing songs,  
>that make me think about where I come from<br>that's the reason why I seem  
>so far away to day"<p>

She sets the violin down again and makes her way up to her room. Once there she mechanically places three dresses in varying shades of blue and some undergarments into her fathers workbag. Going to her mothers room she takes a single picture of her parents, Marguerite, and herself. She stares at it a while and hums before voicing the words again.

"Let me tell you that I love you  
>that I think about you all the time<br>Caledonia you're calling me  
>Now I'm going home"<p>

_~You'll Forget Us~_

She shakes her head vehemently no.

"And if I shall become a stranger  
>know that it would make me more than sad<br>Caledonia's been everything I've ever had"

Pure and sweet her voice soars, beautiful; even in, or maybe because of, her sadness. She places some tea packets and an ivory carving from China in the bag. Then she drifts over to the bed and strokes a soft blanket she received in Australia before placing it in the bag as well.

"I have moved and kept on moving  
>I've proved the points I needed proving<br>Lost the friends I needed losing  
>Found others on the way."<p>

She was always drifting, coming or going, never in one place long enough to call in home, never belonging somewhere enough for it to be home. There was only one place left to try and she would not need a boat to get there.

_~I need a moment!~_

"I've kissed the boys and left them crying  
>Stolen dreams, yes there's no denying<br>I've traveled hard, sometimes with conscience, flying  
>Somewhere with the wind"<p>

She remembered them but would they want her back?

"Let me tell you that I love you  
>that I think about you all the time<br>Cale- Wonderland you're calling me  
>Now I'm going home<br>And if I shall become a stranger  
>know that it would make me more than sad<br>Wonderland has been everything I've ever had"

Downstairs again she packs herself some bread, butter, and a flask of tea. She runs her hands over the counters, the walls, the chairs, everything; to remember what she had been before, to remind herself what she wanted to become.

In the study again, she lifts the violin lovingly to her chin.

"And now I sit before the fire  
>the empty room, the forest choir<br>the flames have cooled, don't get any higher  
>They've withered now they're gone"<p>

A tear runs down her cheek. "I will miss you Momma and Papa." She sets the violin in its case and does up the bindings. She throws water on the fire to put it out, then picks up her bag and the violin case. She leaves her house and looks around her one last time and calls for a carriage to Lord Ascot's house. Upon arriving she is sweeps her sister into her arms.

"How are things, Margaret?"

Margaret smiles. "I am moving the children to the mansion tomorrow!"

Alice laughs joyfully. "Oh I'm so glad for you!" she exclaims.

They enter the Mansion together and are shown their rooms. Alice looks out the window, beyond Lady Ascot's garden to the twisted oak on the hillside.

"I'm steady thinking my way is clear  
>and I know what I will do tomorrow<br>When hands have shaken, the kisses float  
>I will disappear."<p>

"Alice?"

She lets the curtain fall and joins the rest in the dining room.

Early the next morning she kneels on the hillside above the Ascot estate. Carefully she packs the violin and case in amidst her clothing. She stands up and approaches the rabbit hole. Suddenly she looks back over the English countryside. The chances of another Jabberwocky were slim.

"Fairfarren." She calls out and sings-

"Let me tell you that I love you  
>That I think about you all the time<br>But Wonderland has been calling me  
>Now I'm going home.<p>

And if I shall become a stranger  
>Know that it would make me more than sad<br>Wonderland has been everything I've ever had."

The only one's who hear her are some sheep and their elderly shepherd. He looks up at the twisted oak but sees no one. He crosses himself.

"The lass will not be the first tae be lost tae the Fey Folk, nor the last." He mutters to himself and the nearest sheep nods as if in agreement. No one asks him if he saw the young Alice Kingsley the night before her disappearance and he doesn't say.


End file.
